1. Setting the Stage

1.1 Articulate Purpose and Significance

• Prepare a concise opening statement (30 seconds max) that includes:

  1. The specific purpose of the conversation

  2. Why this feedback is important for the recipient's development

  3. The level of significance (e.g., critical issue vs. minor improvement)

• Example: "I'd like to discuss your recent project presentation. It's important we address this now as it affects both your professional growth and our team's effectiveness with clients."

1.2 Use Respectful Language

• Develop a mental list of professional, courteous phrases

• Practice addressing serious issues firmly but without aggression

• Prepare neutral alternatives for potentially dismissive or sarcastic remarks

2. Delivering Feedback (SBI Framework)

2.1 Describe the Specific Situation

• For each feedback point, note:

  1. Exact time and place of the behavior

  2. Relevant contextual details

• Example: "During last Thursday's client meeting in the main conference room..."

2.2 Focus on Observable Behaviors

• List 2-3 specific actions that were seen or heard

• Describe what the person did, not why you think they did it

• Example: "You interrupted the client three times during their opening remarks."

2.3 Communicate Impact and Concerns

• For each behavior, prepare to discuss:

  1. Impact on the individual, team, or organization

  2. Any emotional reactions or consequences

• Use "I" statements or objective observations

• Example: "This created tension in the room and potentially damaged our relationship with the client."

3. Engaging and Moving Forward

3.1 Demonstrate Active Listening

• Prepare phrases for summarizing: "If I understand correctly, you're saying..."

• Develop follow-up questions: "How do you think this affected the client?"

• Practice adapting your approach based on the recipient's responses

3.2 Address Defensiveness Constructively

• Prepare redirection statements: "I understand you feel frustrated. Let's focus on how we can improve future client interactions."

• Develop phrases to emphasize shared goals: "We both want our client relationships to be strong."

• Practice firm but respectful ways to refocus the conversation

3.3 Encourage Reflection and Problem-Solving

• Prepare open-ended questions:

  • "What's your perspective on what happened in that meeting?"

  • "How might we handle similar situations differently in the future?"

• Plan how to involve the recipient in generating solutions

3.4 Establish Clear Agreements for Change

• Create a simple template for action plans:

  1. Specific behavior change

  2. Timeline for implementation

  3. Follow-up date

• Example: "So we agree that you'll practice active listening techniques in our next three team meetings. Let's review progress in two weeks, on [specific date]."

Roleplay Quick Tips

1. Open with a clear purpose, importance, and significance level

2. Use the SBI framework for each piece of feedback

3. Stick to observable facts and specific instances

4. Listen actively and adapt your approach accordingly

5. Redirect defensiveness to collaborative problem-solving

6. End with clear, mutual agreements and a follow-up plan

Remember: Your goal is to have a constructive dialogue that leads to positive change. Balance being direct and specific in your feedback with being open to the recipient's perspective and collaborating on solutions.